From Shyness to Boldness

Published: Tue, 02/24/09

Dear ,

Are you bold in pursuing God? Many of us are far too timid in approaching God for help in our daily struggles. Yet we are missing out on the greatest source of strength we have: "On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul (Psalm 138:3)"

As I get older, I appreciate boldness because I was once far from it. I was terribly shy as a child and into my early 20s. Then I discovered that I had a terrible mental stronghold that made me afraid of people. I called the pattern 'STOP' and ended up writing an online course to help others overcome shyness.

I want to describe the STOP pattern so you can see how these errors can also keep you from connecting with God.

STOP is an acronym for: Stack-up, Trial, Oracle, and Perfectionism.

Stack-up is when you constantly compare yourself to others - and you see yourself as "less than" most of the time.
Trial is when you make judgments about other people without real evidence.
Oracle is when you try to predict the future - and that future is negative and the manifestation of all your worries.
Perfectionism is when you fear mistakes and feel that you must do everything perfectly. As a result, you don't try much of anything because you are afraid of failure.

This entire pattern is born of fear - fear that you aren't good enough and that eventually, everyone will know it. And so, you begin to hide away parts of yourself from fear that others will reject you.

However, this pattern is contrary to the word of God. According to 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."

Fear would have us focus on ourselves but perfect love demands that we focus on God.

Even though my shyness class is written for a secular audience, this underlying principle is woven into it. One of my students wrote me recently about how practicing this principle is helping him to connect with others better: "I loved your saying that perfect love casts out fear, and that if you strive to love someone in spite of their imperfections, you will find it much easier to connect with them. I have been trying to practice this and as I focus on this more my anxiety goes down and I start to feel much more comfortable, confident and relaxed."

Sounds like he is becoming bold to me!

When you are shy, all of the focus is inward - your fears, worries, anxieties, and insecurities. However, when you are bold you focusoutward. As Christians, we focus on God's grace, strength, power, and provision. And because you know that He has all the answers then you approach Him boldly in the name of Jesus.

God gave you the ultimate gift in his Son, Jesus, because He loves you and so that you will have the privilege of personal relationship with Him. His love will cast out fear and you will be able to come boldly to his throne of grace that you may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16).

So become perfected in God's love by spending time with Him. Resolve to be obedient to His leading. Study the bible and learn about God's character. The bible is a record of God's love for man and his desire to draw us to Himself.

Keep in mind this quote by Nazi concentration camp survivor Corrie Ten Boom: "If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God you'll be at rest."

Today, go to God with your prayers, praise, and worship. And watch Him make you bold with strength in your soul.

Be blessed in health, wealth, and wisdom,

Kimberly Floyd, C.W.C.
Certified Wellness Coach
Author of 'MoneyWise Weight Loss' and the 'Take Back Your Temple' ebook

P.S. A few announcements: On tomorrow (Wednesday, February 25), CBN's The 700 Club will repeat an interview that I recorded for the 'Skinny Wednesday' segment of the show. Visit The 700 Club page on CBN.com for air times or check the local listings in your area.

If you are struggling with shyness, then you can overcome it through my online course at http://www.goodbyetoshy.com.

Later in the week, I will also have an article from a guest author, Dr. Shirley Powell (www.temple-care.net). She is a naturopathic physician who will share with you a powerful teaching on self-esteem versus God esteem. Stay tuned!

Please forward this email on to all others for whom this information will be a blessing.